Sunday 11 December 2011

FRENCH FASHION MAG "BE" & MY QUOTES IN PIECE ON BRIGHTON'S TRIBAL LIFESTYLES*FRENCH LANGUAGE*





BE
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_GRAND ANGLE
• v
Brighton
andSUÏl
C'est un peu le Saint-Tropez anglais,
en moins bling-bling. Chaque été, cette ville
de l'extrême sud du royaume se transforme
en paradis pour bobos londoniens.
Mais à Brighton, le fric, cest loin d'être chic.
Vicky Chahine l'a vérifié sur place.
Photos PHILIPPE UOPPABELU/Tendance flotte pour BeBE
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Entre deux sorties,
on récupère en face
des manèges
du Brighton PierBE
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GRAND ANGLE
~MTGHTON, GHTON, LE HOT SPOT ANGLAIS' Discussion entre
copines sur
le front de mer
S
nghton, la ville
la plus trendy
du Royaume
Vm ' , titrait le
quotidien The
Guardian en
mai  d e r n i er
L élection de la premiere parlementaire
ecolo du pays, Caroline Lucas, a remis un
coup de projecteur sur cette station balné-
aire pas comme les autres, située dans la
region du Sussex, au sud de I Angleterre
Historiquement réputée pour ses naughry
week ends , associes aux adultères et a la
consommation de drogue Bnghton est
depuis une quinzaine d annees un spot en
vogue pour se relaxer et faire la fête En
descendant West Street, I artere principale
qui relie la gare a la mer, des party girls
surexcitées viennent enterrer leur vie de
jeune fille et y croisent des étudiants prêts
a descendre des pintes toute la nuit des
familles de la working class tout droit sorties d un cliche de Martin Parr et des bobos
qui ont quitte Londres pour respirer le bon
air mann de la Manche Ailleurs, on se toi
serait, ici on se côtoie a la cool La mompreneur sourit avec indulgence au fêtard
en train de cuver sa biere dans le parc et
le graphiste au look preppy lance un check
au baba cool en pleine session de didgeri
doo Brighton, ultime destination boho'
BOURGEOIS BOHEME
La station balnéaire la plus hype d'Angleterre
n a pas vole sa réputation Ce qui la differen
cie des autres villes cotieres du pays' Elle
héberge la plus vaste communaute gay d Europe, un festival considère comme I un des
plus cool du pays (avec cette annee, Brian
Eno en directeur artistique) et une poignee
de residents célèbres attires par son mode
de vie hippie chic De nombreux créatifs
l'ont choisie pour l'ouverture d esprit et la
tolérance de ses habitants Ici, on ne juge pas
les gens sur leur tenue leur mode de vie ou
leur compte en banque , explique Norman
Miller, journaliste freelance au Times et au
Slim) est également une figure incontournable de Bnghton Quand il ne reçoit pas ses
amis Iggy Pop et Damon Albarn de Gorillaz
a la bonne franquette, il déambule dans les
rues au bras de son épouse la présentatrice
Zoe Ball Contrairement a Nick Cave, qui, s il
a elu domicile ici il y a une dizaine d'années
avec femme et enfants, est un peu I homme
invisible A tel point que le jeu prefere des
Brightonians consiste a se demander sur le
mode du name-dropping ' Where s Nick
 ?
'
Plus que du commérage, e est un pied de
nez aux gens qui viennent ici pour traquer
des célébrités , poursuit Norman Miller C est
comme ça a Bnghton Kyhe Minogue peut
boire un verre sans bodyguard, Pamela
Anderson faire du shopping dans les rues
piétonnes des Lanes, Kim Cattrall et Rufus
Watnwnght dîner au restaurant végétarien
Guardian Pas étonnant des lors
queHeatherMills devenueiune J^ ^ ^ paggg COnUUC
ça : Kylie Minogue
peut boire un verre
fSS sans bodyguard.
des betes noires des Anglais pour
avoir traîne dans la boue Paul
Mccartney lors de leur divorce
ait trouve refuge dans une mai
son sur Millionnaires Row (qui
comme son nom ne I in
n a nen d ostentatoire)
sm, Norman Cook Oe DJ FatboyBE
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T.ES BONS PT.ANS
BILL S Pour prendre un petit dejeuner 100%
anglais ou un tea time bio accompagne de carrot cake
100 North Road BN11YE Tel +44 (O) 1273 692 894
TERRE A TERRE Pour manger végétarien
et gastronomique (oui c'est possible)
71 East Street, ENI IHG Tel +44 (O) 1273 729 051
HOTEL DU VIN Pour siroter un cocktail dans
I un des plus chics hotels boutiques de la ville
2-6 Ship Street, BMI IAD Tel +44 (O) 1273 718 588
TRI BEC A Pour troquer ses talons de 12 cm
contre des tennis Sprmgcourt (et rafler au passage
une veste Isabel Marant)
21 Bond Street BN! IRD Tel +44 (O) 1273 673 755
MADAME GEISHA Pour faire la fete dans
un decor tapisse d'oeuvres d art contemporain
The place to be le samedi soir
75 East Street, ENI INF Tel +44 (O) 1273 770 847
EMPLOI DU TEMPS. Ici,
on enchaîne beacli-paity,
lèche-vitrine et pause-caféBE
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"Ici, pas de liste
VIP, ni de dress
code imposé"
Terre A Terre sans paparazris Déstabilises
par tant dè simplicité, certains people passent
leur chemin Les Pixie Geldof, Daisy Lowe
ou Alice Déliai ont trop besoin cles projecteurs pour apprécier l'anonymat dè cette
station balnéaire Ici, pas de clubs prives, de
liste VIP, de dress code impose ou de videurs
arrogants Les bars et boites de nuit des Lanes
du front de mer ou du quartier gay de
Kemptown sont ouverts à tous les noctambules "Pour sortir a Londres, je porte des stilettos tellement hauts quej 'ai du mal a marcher'Quand je viens ici je n'emporte que du
plat, je ne me prends pas la tëte, et au bout
du compte, c'est bien plus fun', assure Amy,
26 ans, venue pour le week-end
QUESTION D'ATTITUDE
Le dress code des beautiful people de
Bnghton ' Cool maîs pas néglige jean (plutôt Acné que H&M), tennis (plutôt Spnngcourt
qu'Asics) etT-shirt loose (plutôt Isabel Marant
que Fruit of the Loom) Le tout acheté a la
boutique Tnbeca dont la selection pointue a
attire Kirsten Dunst lors de son dernier
passage en ville Ces créateurs no logo
rappellent qu'ici un sac siglé Chanel ou Louis
Vuitton peut vite faire passer sa propriétaire
pour une ploue 'A Londres, le style est une
question d argent, de compétition, et sert a
marquer son statut social Ici, difficile de
définir la classe d'une personne en fonction
de ses vêtements ', explique PETER JARRETTE, le
chroniqueur nuit et gossip du magazine
Absolute Brighton Alors pourquoi la sur
nomme t-on London By The Sea' "On trouve
ici le meilleur delà capitale anglaise", exph
que cette avocate trentenaire installée a
Bnghton Des cupcakes colorés, la collection Kate Moss
pourTopShop dcs restaurants
étoiles, des Starbucks et des
hôtels-boutiques chicissimes
S il y a bien une chose qui distingue Bnghton de sa grande
soeur, c'est son penchant pour
le mélange les genres Londres
a beau être une capitale cosmopolite, ses soirees mondaines restent d une mixite relaSIT-IN. Le parc du Royal
Pavillon est l'un des plus
spectaculaires et
accueillants de la ville.
live Ici, à la boîte de nuit Madame Geisha
(ou Jade Jagger a récemment organise un defile), les jeunes branches se déhanchent aux
côtes de quèlques cinquantenaires et elu
diants en bermudas et tongs, devant un
tableau représentant le Christ en pleine demo
de break dance A deux heures du matin, les
clubbeurs emechés s'en vont cuver sans faire
de vagues L atmosphère est finendly, entre
touristes, locaux et policiers qui sont pourtant nombreux a patrouiller 'Ailleurs, les
bars ferment tôt et les soirees se terminent
parfois en bagarre dans la rue Ici, ils restent
ouvertsjusqu a deux heures du matin et I en
tree ne coûte que quèlques pounds, quand
ellen est pas gratuite forcement l'ambiance
est différente", confie Julia, étudiante
Vicky Chahine
Rédactrice société
La légende veut que ceux qui
passent par Brighton finissent
par avoir envie d'y vivre. Si
les huit millions dè touristes qui
défilent chaque année décident de s'y installer, pas
sûr que les habitants resteront aussi tolérants !BE
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UN PARADIS EGALITAIRE?
Brighton aurait-elle abrogé le système des
classes' Rien n'est moins sûr lorsqu'on se
balade dans le quartier de Hove, en bord de
mer Là, devant les cabines de bain multicolores, gossip girls and boys organisent des
barbecues-parties ou le rose coule a flot Bien
loin de la faune des plages du centre avec
ses packs de bieres et ses glacières Ce coin
huppe, où les loyers rivalisent avec ceux de
Londres, abrite une aristocratie plus bohème
que collet monte. "Évidemment qu il y a des
riches ici, simplement ils ne sont pas maté-
rialistes" explique Laura Starbuck, proprietaire de la boutique Tribeca "Comme partout, certains ont plus d'argent que d'autres
mats ici, cela ne leur donne pas acces a des
privilèges", ajoute Norman Miller Un mode
de vie décontracte qui attire de plus en plus
de Londoniens Certains sont même prêts a
garder leur job a la capitale et faire l'allerretour (une heure en train) pour pouvoir s'offrir ce quotidien la 'On a la réputation,
justifiée, d'étreplus cool et plus humains qu'a
Londres ', clament en choeur Mica, un top
model qui a défilé lors de la dernière Fashion
Week de Bnghton, et la créatrice de mode
Natahe Wileman, une Bnghtoman pur jus,
rencontrées au nouveau bar Lolalo Plus tard,
au Drakes, l'un des hôtels boutiques les plus
chics de la ville, Will, un publicitaire, trinque
à son trentieme anniversaire Lunettes de soleil sur le nez, sa girlfnend semble avoir bu
le verre de trop Lui aussi Hier,
je faisais la fête a la Shoreditch
House [un club prive de Londres,
ndlr], et ce matin, je suis venu ici
pour continuer les festivités J'adore
Bnghton, maîs je préfère les endroits
ou l'on a le sentiment d'être un VIP
Et puis ici, on attend des plombes
avant d'avoir son cocktail '', lâchet-il devant ses deux amis locaux, un
nen gênés par cet excès de snobisme
Tellement pas Bnghton •
CULTURE CLUB.
Brighton est aussi une
institution en matière
de clubbing.
AVANTDEPARTI1
Surfez sur visitbritain fr et visitengland fr, pour tout savoir
des evenements a ne pas manquer des restaurants a la mode
télécharger des podcasts et même reserver son billet de tram
Y ALLER
Deux solutions l'Eurostar jusqu'à la gare de Samt-Pancras
a Londres, puis le tram pour Brighton, ou bien l'avion
jusqu a l'aéroport de Gatwick, puis le tram pour Brighton
POUR DORMIR
L'hôtel boutique Lina est a deux pas de la mer et du centreville Les chambres sont cosy et confortables, et l'accueil
sincèrement chaleureux comme partout a Bnghton '
Chambre double a partir de 137 € 55/56 Regency Square
BMI 2FF Tel +44 (O) 1273 820 464, hotel-una co uk
POUR SORTIR
Consultez les sites des magazines
absolutebrighton com et yougotpapped com




HOW TO DATE THE MAYOR


Now for your perusal...here's how to Date the Mayor! 


BRIGHTON & HOVE CITY COUNCIL

Mayoral Engagement : Councillor Anne Meadows

PLEASE COMPLETE AND RETURN THIS FORM AT LEAST 15 DAYS PRIOR TO THE ENGAGEMENT


 

Please return to:-   mayorsoffice@brighton-hove.gov.uk

Tel: 01273-291225/Fax: 01273-291221
The Mayor’s Office
Town Hall, BRIGHTON BN1 1JA

Date of Function

July 14th
Title of Function

BRIGHTON BEER FESTIVAL 2011
Venue
Please give full postal address including Post Code

Purpose built state-of-the-art mega-marquee on the site of the Old Paddling Pool on Brighton Sea Front.
Name of Organisation

BRIGHTON BEER FESTIVAL 
Name and Address of Organiser




Email address

Contact Telephone

Day: 
Emergency: 
Name of Chairman/President


Start and end times of the event/function

Start: 17:00
End:  22:00
Time the Mayor is expected to arrive/leave

Arrive: 17:30
Leave: at your discretion

Name of person meeting the Mayor on arrival

Is parking available for the Mayor’s Car? If so please provide a map
Yes/No* NO
If not, can the Mayor be dropped off and parking be arranged close by. If yes, please provide details and a map
Yes/No
The drive in front of The Grand Hotel
Will refreshments/food be provided?
If yes, please attach details or menu choices
****NB:  The Mayor does not eat Fish, and her Consort is allergic to Tuna****
Yes/No*  YES
What should the Mayor wear?

Daytime dress
What should the Mayor’s consort wear?

Lounge Suit/Casual
*please delete as appropriate
Please turn over………………………






Do you wish the Mayor to make a speech?

Yes/No*
If so, please give a brief outline of what you would like the Mayor to say



Pose for Press Photographers (potentially BBC News and Meridian South). Meet and greet VIP’s 





Is anyone else making a speech and if so who?











If you wish the Mayor to propose, or respond to a Toast, or make a speech, please include the relevant details above.

Please provide some information about the event and your organisation.


Please give details of the website address, if you have one



After 3 successful years of Asia Beer Fest (Singapore) it has now landed on the shores of Brighton. Showcasing best of Sussex, National and International Beers/Ales and ciders, together with wines and cocktails, live music, food stalls and other entertainment over 4 days













Please attach any further information which may assist the Mayor, e.g. Programme, Agenda,
Order of Service, Lesson to be read, Toast List, Guest List, etc.


MAYOR’S CHAUFFEUR

Within the City, the Mayor’s Chauffeur will accompany the Mayor at all times to give assistance, help the event run smoothly from the Mayor’s point of view, look after any presentations, and attend upon the Mayor’s departure.

When appropriate, please can waiting accommodation be made available for the duration of the event for the Chauffer and, where food/refreshment is provided, the chauffeur is also catered for.

In Emergencies on the day the Chauffer can be contacted on 07717302894.



Thursday 1 December 2011

NATIONAL EXPRESS BREAKDOWNS: #747 HEATHROW/GATWICK/BRIGHTON


         National EXPRESS BREAKDOWNS


Yesterday I posted from my mobile phone to Facebook while on a National Express coach enroute to Brighton from Heathrow that we were stuck in horrendous traffic for over two hours. In the end we were in this traffic for more like three and a half hours. A traffic jam of lorries, cars and two National Express coaches that snaked and snarled itself up in a mile long tailback through Heathrow’s neighbouring suburbs as vehicles attempted to access the M25 by means of detour.
We boarded the 8:20 NE coach service #747 at Terminal 1 in good mood after returning from abroad on a day that promised frustrating industrial union strikes across all sectors of the UK workforce and in our case BAA immigration officials. Our good mood was due to an early arrival in the breaking dawn ahead of the full flow of trans-oceanic wide bodies and intercontinental jets services that promised to disgorge their passengers into UK airport immigration arrival areas that were expected to be choked into their own brand of human traffic jams and stressed tailbacks as skeleton staff would try to process the UK entries of thousands of travellers. Hours earlier, on the TV In my Moscow hotel room, CNN assured me that I might be held up to 12 hours in Heathrow trying to get back into the country on that morning, November 30th.
I was processed into the UK in less than two minutes. That assured the upbeat mood.
“Due to the closure of the M25 southbound,” our driver announced as we pulled out of Terminal 1 “we will have to negotiate a detour route onto our next destination of Gatwick North and then Gatwick South Terminal...”  We went on to pick up more passengers at Heathrow’s Terminals 2,3, 4 and BA’s new super Terminal 5, a trip that took the best part of the first hour due to Heathrow’s immense size. Our driver assured all the passengers that those making connection flights out of Gatwick would arrive in time to do so. As we slowly toured Feltham, Sunbury, Hersham, Weybridge, Shepperton, Staines, Chertsey, Esher, Walton-on-Thames and other twee expensive villages and exclusive, gated communities passengers began to speak to each other across aisles and over seat backs....”Where are we? Are we near Gatwick? Does the driver know where he’s going? We’re going to miss our flights!” One middle aged couple chirped up...”Bloody hell! We live around here! We’ve not gone anywhere. Look...that’s Sunbury Golf Club. We’re in the middle of nowhere. This isn’t a short-cut to the M25 or the M anything! The driver’s lost the plot!” Then the coach stopped for the umpteenth time in the single lane tailback (as it had been doing during its slow crawl for more than 2 hours), and the driver got up, walked down the aisle, entered the onboard toilet and had a pee. My travelling colleague, busy tracking our progress on her blackberry’s GPS looked up at me from across the aisle, her eyes widening and asked...”Peter...was that our driver?!” Outside, in front of us the traffic, including the other NE coach moved slowly on...we remained motionless. A pretty, young French girl who I’d leant my mobile to so that she could inquire about her flight departure to Marseilles, who had now missed the only flight that day that would carry her to a family funeral began to quietly sob.
Here is the thing...as we were pulling out of Terminal 5 the driver received a call from dispatch that the M25 was now part open and he could proceed now as normal. We all heard both sides of the radio exchange clearly. I turned in my seat to the already stressed French girl behind me and said, “There! You’ll be alright...you’ll make your flight!” She smiled. “Thank you. I didn’t understand what was being said...my English is so poor.” She apologised unnecessarily in very competent English.
The driver then turned the coach in the opposite direction of the motorway and began our 3 and ½ hour odyssey of prime southern UK property. Gorgeous homes, adorable mini-marinas with stunning waterside houses and moored boats...and of course Sunbury’s upmarket golf club.
When eventually we spilled out on the motorway from some elegant little village we were, after all the hours of agitation of winding and stop/start driving, still only 15 minutes outside of Heathrow!
It was too late. All the flights had gone. The French girl’s face was stained with tears. Behind the driver’s back passengers were moving from seat to seat settling into conversations of refunds and regrets. My colleague had gone up to the driver earlier on and asked about his choice of routes referring to her GPS that she was monitoring him on. She was told in a rather unprofessional tone that her system was “poor”, the coach’s was superior, that he’d been driving for years, that he had comprehensive knowledge of these routes and finally, that he’d been “following the signs anyway!”  
“Yeah?” She replied coolly...”So have we all.”

 When we arrived at Gatwick North the driver finally, for the first time since we boarded, used his PA to announce that he was “...sorry for the delay and that it was due to the closure of the M25.”
The M25 that we’d all heard clearly hours earlier, during his conversation with dispatch, that had been partly re-opened and he’d been instructed to use. Passengers bundled off the coach. Words were exchanged with the driver. Supervisors were summoned. Complaints were beginning to be recorded. The French girl followed everyone off the coach, visibly distressed believing now that she was the only passenger left to travel with him to Gatwick South to catch her now long-gone flight. “Please...” she pleaded with me, “don’t leave me here alone...I am frightened of the driver...I can’t understand what is going on...”
The few passengers left including my colleague, the French girl and I stayed on the coach as he now drove us onto Gatwick’s South Terminal. On arrival the French girl asked for my number so that if she had a problem explaining events to her airline I might speak to them for her and then she disappeared despondently into the Terminal. We were descended on by supervisors wanting our side of the story and when it was clear that second-by-second detail matched those of the passengers at Gatwick North, the driver was relieved of his coach, the onbound Brighton leg of the journey, his keys and his duties. We were told how to pursue compensation. We were offered a paid taxi on to Brighton if we wanted and told that National Express was so very sorry for our experience this morning. We were thanked for our direct reporting of events onboard the coach. Then we were told that erroneous news was now flying around the corporation that our coach was involved in an accident. It hadn’t. But someone definitely had a bad day-from-hell at the office.    
As the cancelled coach #747 pulled away I saw the driver, now relieved of his wheel, sitting passively in the passenger seat behind his earlier designated position staring at me and surrounded his NE supervisors wearing high-vis jackets. NE #747 was sequestered, he was suspended and I felt awful for him. He was probably nearing sixty and retraining him would probably be seen as pointless by his company I thought. What a way to start Christmas in his household. The poor chap.
We were told finally that the other coach that was caught in the traffic ahead of us that morning and departed before the call was put out that the highway was clear had arrived to its destinations and it was hours before us.  
When it turned left at some point you see, our coach turned right.

The only industrial action we saw that day was by an apologetic National Express. The only tears and delays we suffered were delivered late by the hands of one man. 
There had been no accident and the only breakdown experienced was by our unfortunate driver.                  
              

Saturday 26 November 2011

THE VILLAGE IDIOT WRITES AN ART REVIEW


Maria Gilbert’s work is many things to the eye and chunkily delicious is just one phrase that describes her figurative compositions and representations.
Possessing the true artist’s rapier eye for light and shade, line and colour and graphic positioning she sets her aesthetic table out in a calm but still easily calculated way that sates the viewers appetite for a warming boldness but also delivers the cooler emotional flavours of pensiveness, fear and introspection. Her eye catching canvases are the diagrams of the diary of a present day artist. As a voracious Voodoo Queen from post modern Haiti and twice married into the Papa Doc Duvalier dynasty she commands six figure prices for her canvases some of which she makes out of the starched and stretched skins of unripe bananas. She smokes a pipe and chews tabaccy.    
  

THE LADY CHARLOTTE FILES ~or~ WHAT I DID IN THE RECESSION DADDY (true-to-life episodes of the lovely Charly Copeman)


              The Lady Charlotte Files 
                        
                             ~Or~
  
     What I Did in the Recession Daddy
   
   (TRUE-TO-LIFE EPISODES OF THE LOVELY CHARLY COPEMAN)
                                             
                                           
                                               By Peter Jarrette





There was The Lady Charlotte

Who imbibed the grapey harlot

She lost her head and wet her bed

And blushed a crimsony scarlet.



There was The Lady Charlotte.

Whose bottles delivered like starlet

By a chap with his milk and her pyjamas of silk

And his generous gushings on harlot.    



There was The Lady Charlotte

Who was queasy and feverish a far lot

So she called on her friends to help her to mend

And they dragged her off to the bar lot



There was The Lady Charlotte

Whose suitor was more of an odd lot

So she bade him so long but returned to his throng

And pulled another with hot bott.  

WHAT HAS GOTTEN MY GOAT?


All my other blogs, the book blogs, column blogs and my "historical" Brighton events blog (which are just excerpts from my Facebook status over three years) are getting international hits in their 100's...not 1,000 admittedly but when added up then yes...well in excess of 1,000 hits.

I'm quite sure that some are misguided hits as stats show  that some dental clinic search keeps chucking somebody at one of the novel based blogs. As ever most of these, I and any blogger I imagine would be sorry to learn, are hits that last long enough for the surfer to think "what is this bullshit?" before they're off looking for material they really want to read/look at/debase.

So this blog, THE VILLAGE IDIOT! will be my venting blog or sharing blog of current bits that catch my attention or events in my life that irk, annoy, end in tears...or end in Miami...with enough bells, whistles and details to let you all know, whomsoever may be interested, just who and what has gotten my goat or my affections and where and when.

Like my Facebook updates I'll include your good news and information that you may want me to share on the back of my ability to reach further out there than some (might be able to do) with my media work and exposure.

So it won't be very long, trust me before I have a really meaty story to share with you here as you see...every village has more than one idiot.

XXX TVI!

P.S. How much is money?