TVI HOW TO BE A SOCIALITE IN TEN EASY STEPS

                 HOW TO BE A SOCIALITE IN TEN EASY STEPS

How to be a Socialite step one: The Exchange.

Person one: "I don't believe we've met."

Socialite: ""I can't imagine in a hundred years why we would have."

How to be a Socialite step two: The Compliment.

Person one: "The pleasure is all mine"

Socialite: "How very perceptive of you."

How to be a Socialite step three: The Offer.

Person one: "Perhaps I might get you a drink?"

Socialite: "How very perceptive of you."

How to be a Socialite step four: The Sexual Come On.

Person one: "I hope you don't mind but I find you very, very attractive."

Socialite: "Mind? Why should I mind? I wasn't hiding. But I must say If I were hiding I would certainly

hope that you'd make an effort to change tax brackets to repeat those words to me." or "How very

perceptive of you."

How to be a Socialite step five: The Gift.

Person one: "I would very much care for you to accept this."

Socialite: "Your manners are impeccable but I'm afraid this gift is wholly impractical."

Person One: "But..but it is a diamond."

Socialite: "It is singularly impractical."

Person one: "I am so very sorry."

Socialite: "How perceptive of you."

How to be a Socialite step six: The Financial Locator.

Person one: "Your lifestyle seems so very extravagant. I am in awe."

Socialite: "Did you say you were in oil or ore?"

Person one: "Awe."

Socialite: "You're from Boston!"

How to be a Socialite step seven: The Mustard.
Person one: "Would you please accept this gift of several hundred thousand pounds sterling as a

gesture of good will?"
Socialite: "No. I don't touch cash. Here are my bank details...here is my cellphone. But I forget

myself. You say mobile. How quaint."
Person one: "Yes. Mobile.
"Socialite: "So you are in oil!"

How to be a Socialite step eight: The Invitation and Avoidance.

Person one: "Perhaps you would care to sample the cocktails made by my houseboy Choocho at my

Mexican villa?"

Socialite: "Sample? Does the poor boy only make small measures?"

Person one: "You misunderstand..."

Socialite: "How very perceptive of you. Now call my bank, I'm growing bored with you."

How to be a Socialite step nine: The Truth.

Person one: "You seem distracted."

Socialite: "It's the walls. I think the paint is drying." 

How to be a Socialite step ten: The Parting.

Person one: "I've never been so insulted in my life!"

Socialite:"How perceptive of you. So it's agreed. We shall never meet again."