THE VILLAGE IDIOT IS NOT IN LOVE. I'M JUST ON FACEBOOK

I'm not on love, I'm just on Facebook. It's not a silly phase I'm going through. I think Facebook to be a mighty friend and an even mightier tool. Those who cannot fly with their minds and words seem to become bogged down with the strange twist to this illiterate modern world we have come to realise with our flattening imaginations. The social network that is not so secretly showing up those who paid no attention in the school of life's writing, reading and think classes.  

These networks have shown up the Luddites among us who denounce platforms like Facebook as a waste of time and strictly for the vain glorious who like the look of their own posts. Well we do. Art can be brought to any medium and like our outward physical shells we can and should clean, preen and adorn them as we should our minds and abilities. 

'God! you're always on Facebook!' I'm constantly being moaned at and reminded. That of course is when I'm not on a jet flying to other countries (the observers of this fact tend to overlook) where I am paid well to sing and dance on stage and smile and sign off stage. A job I obtained from my colourful, verbose and prolific Facebook experience that gave the watchers more than enough to see the quality in me they thought best would serve them. Thank you Facebook.

'Don't you ever get out of the house?' I am derided by those who seem not to notice when I've posted on Facebook that I'm about to enter the BBC studios to be interviewed on the popular afternoon chats shows about my life and times bringing me to some level of prominence in several countries and cities. Thank you Facebook because it was one friend on my list of friends that monitored my posts and musings who thought that I might make a good guest and brought me to the attentions of her bosses at the Beeb who agreed. One foolish woman with whom I had the misfortune to work with briefly...before it came to light that she was stealing from me and I sued her successfully...asked 'why' when I told her I was going on the show. She seemed too brick minded to notice that the very energy I have that she used to try and make money from was just part of my few but happy talents that attracted others to me and my work. She just saw pound signs. Her updates amounted to repeating the words "...and a good time was had by all' after her nights out or in with her friends. No intellect visible in her Facebook output. Shame on me...I should have clocked that and stayed clear.   

'God it's all me, me, me with you on Facebook' they hiss overlooking that I am a contributing columnist to two magazines one of which is read in more than a handful of countries. Articles written at length on other people's lives and works. Articles that require questions to be asked and answers to listen to and notes to be taken and later structured into something that is good to read. Products that have to be agreed on by the subjects interviewed and the hard nosed editors who have commissioned the work. In short I write well and vast amounts on other people's lives. I watch you, see you, listen to you and record you in my mind because you fascinate me. So is it all about me me me? I ask you and you and you...but wait...let me get my pen.

Twitter. Not my complete cup of tea as it seems littered with life coaches in Denver and e-publishers in Toledo cottoning onto what they think they see in my scant output there that they can exploit to make a bean for themselves. Plus...I'm Facebook's bitch and Twitter isn't sexy enough for me anyway. 

I'm not in love. I'm just on Facebook. It exercises my mind. What does yours?