THE VILLAGE IDIOT'S FIRST FACEBOOK POST TODAY IS SPONSORED BY TVI

I woke up and snailed out to the front garden where Kars was on the lawn in the sun with the house pets. Surrounding Beverly Dials on two sides were five police vans and a police car. I thought perhaps that they were looking for the socialite last seen eating a bucket of greasy chips directing last night's driver to our home in the hills but when she asked them if perhaps we should go inside for our own safety the assured her that it was 'alright ma'am....we're just staying out of the way. There is a game (UK football) in town today.' The rest she didn't quite get as the officer she addressed, in the car parked up next to our apricot tree, was Scottish and they do tend to swallow their delicious vowels. 

Five vans and a car. Football. It has become so charming. This is the lovely well kept south coast not some inner city jungle slum. Well at least our little bit of heaven today is well protected from the sporting sleaze of a nation.