THE VILLAGE IDIOT READS THE VILLAGE VOICE: COPS NAB A-HOLE IN MAN HOLE

Catch a Crook

Cops Nab Runaway Crook After Wild Subway Goose Chase

By John Surico Sat., Sep. 15 2012 at 1:50 PM

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Categories: Catch a Crook, John Surico

If you're going to run away from the cops, you should make sure (1) you're not in handcuffs and (2) you actually get away. That's just basic knowledge every person learns at high school parties when the cops knock on the door. It's also common sense.

Well, last night, one 18-year-old kid (man? what age is the cut off for kid/man?) didn't pay attention to either. After a minor marijuana arrest, the suspect jumped out of the backseat of a moving cop van and bolted. His first mistake was the whole being-in-handcuffs thing and then he made another one: he ran down into the subway (the 1 train at Christopher Street, to be specific). In any situation, the subway is a dead end, unless the subway is there waiting for you in an awesome James-Bond-esque coincidence.

Who knows what happened down there - the cops apparently have no idea. The fugitive might have jumped down on the tracks and ran for his life or that coincidence mentioned before actually did happen. All we know is that the 1 train was temporarily suspended and when the fugitive came out of a manhole somewhere around East 21st and Lexington Avenue.

And, of course, guess who was waiting for him? According to the Post, 30 or 40 cops showed up at the scene and arrested the idiot mid-manhole-climb. He was arrested yet again and brought to booking at a nearby location.

He'll probably get another additional resisting-arrest charge but, in the end, he will be reprimanded for not knowing how to ran away from the Boys in Blue. Poor guy should've went to more parties in high school.